THE TV is my shepherd I shall not want,
It makes me lie down on the sofa,
It leads me away from the scriptures,
It damages my soul.
It leads me in the path of sex and
violence for the sponsor's sake,
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
there will be no interruption for the TV is with me.
It's cable and remote control,
they comfort me,
It prepares a commercial before me,
in the presence of my worldliness.
It anoints my head with humanism,
my coveting runneth over,
Surely laziness and ignorance shall
follow me all the days of my life,
And, I shall dwell in my house
watching TV forever, Amen.
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